I may be smiling, seemingly to show taht everything is ok but its not..deep inside, im crying hoping that evrything will be ok for me and my family..


Noy Noy...now ur crying so loud but none could hear..could Izad hear it? Could he hear to my most silence but hurting cry? i guess not.if i cry and broke down, will that help wif anything?..I guess not..before this, i have cried a zillion tears, but does it help?it didnt.. it actually makes me feel more sad and pity of myself..

.its not easy forcing urself to smile, to stand up straight and to listen to other's whimpers when i myself is weak to the bones..Im glad taht i am working.errands at work help divert my problems..

hmm..do u all want to know my problems..i wud luv to share..but how far cud u help me..cud u understand?cud u fit into my shoes?cud u lend me a helping hand?i dont want cheap advices..those i can get from any counselling coulumns in d internet..

God...give me more strength..u have granted me with ur blessing last year....d patience dat u instilled in me has really help me..wen i was in need of someone, You are there..I have to gave in to other's dilemma and by doiung so, my needs are put aside..I was patient about that.. I cried cos I was not heard by anyone near me but You heard me..I could hear You tell me to be aliitle more patient..I did that and i was happy that I didnt turn out a rebel..

And now You gave me another challenge..I'll go thru this knowing that You are by my side..I ubderstand that the challenge that You gave me are signs of Your love to me..Isnt it that only the heroes in movies alwez got the hardship..while those who didn't are alwez stand by actors or extras? well...lets get on wif life..Im hurting..im crying...but it will be ok soon..i just have to try..we just have to try..'Give up' is plan C..I hope that wont happen